A sinner-saint? A gutter-heir to grace?

Adoption? O Christ, what bloody love is this,
When I betray you daily with a kiss?
Yet you are not changed; your love
Like to yourself cannot be moved,
Again by grace, healed, I turn to you.
By grace I serve you & by grace I grow –
deliver me from weeds & worms,
And let me stretch & yearn for thy sweetshine,
nor forget thy shelter
In storm or dark October days.

Un-earned grace bewilders all the world—
A stumbling miracle, divergent from our debt.
As if the Sun did shine at night, His light burns strange
Unto our eyes & hearts.
Proud merits cast but short shadows in His Sun.
We are undone.
Richly stores of treasure I do keep
Seem poor & gray.
I weep.
My Lord,
Bewildered and amazed you find me here,
a wretch deserving death, judgement, fear.

Increase within me, Love –
expand the corners of my narrow heart to make a spacious plot
For thee to plant with all things good & green.
Seek the Son, o everything of mine,
loyalty, affections, & estate be granted to the king.
To him I pledge each acre of my soul,
& in his hands the harvest shall be whole.

A sinner-saint? A gutter-heir to grace? Indeed, i say,
thus is my state, and though strange it is the only way.
for grace forgotten bewilders even more,
and is unlikely as a rainbow without hue.
Protect my soul, Lord Christ, when in my mind I stray from you!