yo quiero

More of Fedor van der Valk's String Gardens 

Creativity vs. TV

Last night (while hunting for something in one of my atrociously disorganized closets), I found some Sculpey and decided  to eschew television and instead try my hand at creating. Here's what I came up with: 

Before I baked the Sculpey, I pressed a-not-so-favorite stud earring into the back of the rose - 
vindicating my penchant for holding on to mis-matched earrings & broken jewelry parts.

Note: i modeled these off a pair of white rose earrings from Hannah - sisters for the win! 

I made another pink rose & spray painted it gold (i didn't make the pearls).

Gotta love gold spray paint! 

Well, I had used up all the pink, so I switched to green and brown and made....a plant!
It's the one in the silver container. No watering necessary! 

A rather random creation. The butterfly is from the handle of a broken butter-knife.

Maybe I'll paint the green part gold?

After I made this tree (and before I baked it), I poked
a hole in the top with a needle - vola! Christmas ornament!

(or rather, a fridge ornament)

A little toadstool.

Now these are certainly one-of-a-kind earrings!

And, since i had a little bit of green left, I made a Sculpeysaurus named Noshi.

Way more fun than watching tv....and now I have a dinosaur!

[we shatter the world]

we shatter the world
with our grief;
the pieces spin on the floor of the universe, uncounted
through the tears. we cannot
build another, or mend what was
never meant to be broken. we
sit with our backs to the wall
of reality,
questioning each heartbeat, and with small
whispers, asking
why
did the sun rise again today?

we do not understand the purpose of pain
because we do not want to own that its origin
was birthed in our rebellion. Disassociative disorder.
What's mine is mine is mine...we snarl even as we weep.
And yet,
though we are lying, small-bodied, in the corner
of our own ignorance,
you pause. Compassion.

You see us shaking with sorrow and fear,
like wounded animals, helpless.
Gently, You take the shards of our pain
into Your hands, showing
that all things - in this world and the next -
can be made whole.

Rebellion turns to joy, but the
pain remains. You understand
pain.

You know the blackness when the
universe is shattered by grief. You know what it is
to be broken. Yet You are the builder...
what's Yours is Yours is Yours....
And yet, You cry words of love,
even as You weep, reminding us
to hope
because the sun did rise again today.

[a winter prayer]

Just as a father has compassion on his children,

So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.

For He Himself knows our frame;

He is mindful that we are but dust.

-Psalm 103

Dear Lord,
You are building this house, ripping out walls and unblocking drains and building a strong foundation with gold. I know you know what you are doing, and I don't deserve to have you in my life at all. But it is uncomfortable. I feel vulnerable and powerless when i am out of your presence. My trust in the world and its wisdom is shaken, and all its answers ring hollow. Yet your answers bewilder me...i have to read them again and again, every day, and each time i fall deeper in awe of your holiness. How can you care for me, who am but a quintessence of dust - of earth and sin and tears? Yet at the same time, deep deep deep inside my heart, I know you. I meet with you. I worship you as the Creator God, the Lord of beginnings and of endings, of birth and rebirth, of adoption and redemption. Yes, i affirm you as the Sovereign King. I claim your name through Jesus Christ. I belong to you. Shall i receive good from the hand of the Lord, and not adversity? Be it unto me as you have said. You have brought water out of solid rock. You have healed the sick and raised the dead. Every child, every human being who has breath in his nostrils belongs to you. You are LIFE, not death, and your delight and love is for the good of your children, not their harm.

God, i am specifically asking you for grace to believe in your goodness during the month of January. You see the bruises on my heart where death is trying to steal my joy and turn my trust into ungodly sorrow and doubt and all manner of insidious, un-renewed thoughts and actions.

Please allow me, infuse me, animate me, empower me to be your servant to my fullest and best ability. Help me as I study your Word. Help me to pray continually. Hold me together, Lord, for the glory and wonder of your Name. Lord, most of all, OPEN MY EYES to see you in your holiness, in your true character, so that I can worship you with my whole soul, nothing held back. Jesus, it is in your name that I ask for all these things, confident that in you, and through you, and to you and for you are ALL things, and you are able to give more than I can even ask for or imagine!

You are wonderful, Jesus. You are coming back! Help us to be ready! Fill us with love! I love you! I miss you, and I can't wait to meet you face to face! Thank you for your Word, and for all the stories in Scripture about unfulfilled longings and disappointed hopes that found their resolution and satisfaction in You! I love you!

Amen.

photo by me: sunrise on oasis, mexico

a little miracle

there aren't enough words
to describe how the birds
alight on the lake
with a shimmering shake
making ripples and waves
and poetical caves
of shadowy flight.
what a glorious sight
to share with the night